Superpowers

I have a superpower.
It's so grand, that sometimes even I don't understand it.
My power, is the ability to make myself feel like something is all my fault.
Pretty great, right?

For example:
I completely and utterly feel 100% responsible for the way my last relationship ended.
Extreme? Maybe.
True? Yes.
Try to talk me down from it, I dare you.
It just seems like any way I look at it, it's my fault. Even though I know deep down inside that it's healthy and  good. It's just the way this superpower works. I must learn to tame it, and use it for good.

But really.

I've been blessed and cursed with this thing called empathy.
It's just another superpower of mine.
This one also gets me in trouble.
It gives me the acute ability to sense when others are hurting, and allows me to hurt with them.
You'd thing that'd be awesome, right?

Ish.

"I just feel so bad. I mean, I can't imagine how they feel in the situation. I guess they have a right to be mad/sad/frustrated/etc. I really hope I didn't do anything wrong. I probably did, so I understand where they're coming from."

Case in point.
People are my strength, but they are also my kryptonite.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that God gave us all "superpowers".
Together, we form a team.
His intent for them is often very different than what we really use them for.
And that's where we get the villains.

So my advice for the day:
Harness your powers, and use them for good.
Fight off the evil forces, fight for those less fortunate than you, and fight for those who are hurting and show them that someone loves them and that someone is always fighting for them.

We're all on the same team.
We should all take the blame.
We are all superheros.

Love always,
Suz


 

Best Friends

My best friend is moving home today. 
In fact, she just walked out the door. 
Now, home for her is only 2 hours away from here, and she'll be back soon to visit and collect the rest of her belongings. But that doesn't make it any easier. 

For the last two years, she's lived just a few doors away from me, and knowing that she won't be that close anymore makes me really sad. 

But it also makes me really happy. 
Happy that she gets to be with her family that she's missed so much. 
Happy that she gets to be in a place where she can grow and be healthy. 
Happy that she's going to be happy. 

Here's to being happy, and rejoicing in other's happiness as well. 
"Rejoice with those who rejoice;" Romans 12:15

And here's to best friends. 
Chloe SanFran, I love you and cannot wait to see your beautiful face again. 

Love always, 
Suz

Illusions

Sometimes, life is made up of a million little illusions. Which in reality makes life one big illusion, right? 
Like, I pretend like I'm an amazing basketball player. A baller, if you will. 
Some pretend like they know everything, even when they don't. 
Then there are those that are actually GOOD at illusions, like Drew Worsham. In case you don't know who he is, check him out here: https://www.facebook.com/thedrewworsham

(Shameless plug)

But I think one thing that every single one of us is good at, is performing the illusion that we're ok. 
I'm a pro at it. 
I'm a fake-it-til-I-make-it kind of girl.
I've spent of lot of time pretending. Covering up. Being an illusionist. 
It's my full time job. 

But on the flip side, illusions can always be solved, even if we think the Illusionist is too good to figure out. 
Proverbs 14:18 says "Foolish dreamers live in a world of illusion; wise realists plant their feet on the ground." 
Let's not be foolish. In a world full of foolery, we need something real to plant our feet to.


So I'm challenging myself to be real. 
With myself, with others, and with God.
Real in the Pinocchio-breaks-free-from-the-strings kind of real. 


And I'm challenging you to be real as well.  
With yourself, with others, with God. 

Pinocchio never sported the long nose or wooden look very well, and we don't either. 

Suz

Small Victiories

There are times in life when you have to celebrate the small victories.
Like remembering you have a blog. 
Or remembering you don't have 8:30 a.m. class in the morning. 
Or realizing you are loved. 

Sometimes when you feel like you don't have a lot to offer, simply remembering that you are loved is all it takes. And I've found that to be very helpful lately. 

So today, count up all your small victories. 
Add them up and know that they equal one very big victory. 
You are loved, for the win. 

Suz

Oh goodbye sailor's mouth...

Tis' the season... of Lent.
It comes and goes every year, and it seems that people always give up the same things. Pop, candy, TV...
So this year, I decided to switch it up. Since being at college, I've developed sort of a potty mouth. So I made the decision to give up swearing. Or at least cut back on it. I have a stash of rubber bands, and will always wear one around my wrist so that if I catch myself swearing, I can give it a quick *snap* and be reminded.

Ingenious right?
Wrong. Ish.

We were showed a little video at Village, where the wonderful Drew Worsham said, that we shouldn't be giving up the sins (swearing), but instead should be giving up the good things in our lives (pop, candy, TV).

Well crap.
Where does that leave me now?

As I pondered this concept, I realized that even though swearing was a sin, that I was going to continue with my original plan. Because the more I think about it, the more I realize how unprofessional swearing is, and how bad it makes me look.

Plus, if I'm going to try to live a life like Jesus...
I'm pretty sure he didn't EVER drop the F bomb.

So what did I actually give up for Lent?

Pop.

Ready... Set... False Start.

New Year. New. Year.

What does that even mean?

Could it be, that I've been given another year to live, and breathe, and thrive in this world that God has given to me?

Or maybe it's that I'm starting... again. A new semester, another chance at all the things that went wrong the first time, a time to figure out what I'm really doing.

Ah, but what if it's the beginning of something so grand, and so beautiful, that it needs it's own year to form?

Yes. Yes, and yes.

Any way I look at it, I've hit the ground running this year. No false starts for this girl.

Oh, why hello 2011. :)

Love,
Suz

Who's even reading this?

Homecoming week has come and gone, and it's been overly-exhausting. What a crazy time. I literally felt like I just had to update this, even though no one reads it. Sad day.

As long as I can vent somewhere, I'll keep writing.

Love always,
Suzza

Break me down.

There are some times, where I feel so moved by music, that I totally break down. It just grabs me, and shakes me to the core. So hard that I just cry. After a weekend like this one, I needed a break down...

This weekend was another one of those rollercoaster rides. Friday... was probably a night I wish I could do-over. I never knew I could be so ashamed and embarassed by one act. All I can say, is that I am SO thankful, and blessed that I have friends who can take care of me when I am incapable.

Oh but Saturday...
Amazing to say the least.

What would we do without those Theta Chi boys, who all smell so good, and act so sweet? I was asked to their Pledge Dance by the most precious boy you'll ever meet... :D I couldn't have asked for a better date, and overall, a better night.




These events all lead up to church tonight. I never expect to cry. But every week, I come out feeling totally broken. Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes in a bad way. Tonight, I was leaning towards the bad side. All it takes is those simple worship songs to tell me that I'm a complet idiot.

I know God is moving me through those lyrics, and those notes.
But why does it have to make me feel like I'm sitting at the bottom of a well?

P.S. I dyed my hair. Just in case you didn't catch that in the picture.

When life gives you lemons...

You'd better have some sugar, or your lemonade's gonna suck.

If I've been reassured of anything over these past 7 weeks, it's that life is one giant rollercoaster ride. Even when you think you're at the bottom, there's always another hill. I think I'm deciding it's a good thing, because it gives my life a little pizzaz.

Right now, I'd say I'm climbing back up to the top.

Highlight of the weekend? Saturday. Hands down. A lazy day of laundry and cleaning, a volleyball game with Theta Chi boys(which UI dominated by the way), and to top it all off, an invitation the the Theta Chi Pledge dance, which was extended by pretty much the most precious guy you'll ever meet. I think I even got a few butterflies. :)

best Day EVER!

Today is 10/10/10, and I have a feeling it might be pretty epic.

But I'm a little nervous to see if this epicness is good or bad.

Just another ride on the rollercoaster...

Unconditional something or other...

I'm blown away at the fact that no matter how many times I screw up, or make a fool of myself, I still have friends. You'd think by now, I'd be a total loner. For some odd reason, people still continue to like me. (Either that or they're just really good at faking it.)

I'm a little confused as to what makes my friends this way. What's it called? Unconditional love? Yea, that's it. Christ works their hearts in the most amazing ways... All I ask is that he works my heart the same way.

Speaking of Christ...
I made a puzzle piece bracelet at Resonate last week, and I'm supposed to wear it until I know where I "fit in" in God's big plan. I have a feeling I'm going to be wearing that bracelet for a long time...