Who's even reading this?

Homecoming week has come and gone, and it's been overly-exhausting. What a crazy time. I literally felt like I just had to update this, even though no one reads it. Sad day.

As long as I can vent somewhere, I'll keep writing.

Love always,
Suzza

Break me down.

There are some times, where I feel so moved by music, that I totally break down. It just grabs me, and shakes me to the core. So hard that I just cry. After a weekend like this one, I needed a break down...

This weekend was another one of those rollercoaster rides. Friday... was probably a night I wish I could do-over. I never knew I could be so ashamed and embarassed by one act. All I can say, is that I am SO thankful, and blessed that I have friends who can take care of me when I am incapable.

Oh but Saturday...
Amazing to say the least.

What would we do without those Theta Chi boys, who all smell so good, and act so sweet? I was asked to their Pledge Dance by the most precious boy you'll ever meet... :D I couldn't have asked for a better date, and overall, a better night.




These events all lead up to church tonight. I never expect to cry. But every week, I come out feeling totally broken. Sometimes in a good way, and sometimes in a bad way. Tonight, I was leaning towards the bad side. All it takes is those simple worship songs to tell me that I'm a complet idiot.

I know God is moving me through those lyrics, and those notes.
But why does it have to make me feel like I'm sitting at the bottom of a well?

P.S. I dyed my hair. Just in case you didn't catch that in the picture.

When life gives you lemons...

You'd better have some sugar, or your lemonade's gonna suck.

If I've been reassured of anything over these past 7 weeks, it's that life is one giant rollercoaster ride. Even when you think you're at the bottom, there's always another hill. I think I'm deciding it's a good thing, because it gives my life a little pizzaz.

Right now, I'd say I'm climbing back up to the top.

Highlight of the weekend? Saturday. Hands down. A lazy day of laundry and cleaning, a volleyball game with Theta Chi boys(which UI dominated by the way), and to top it all off, an invitation the the Theta Chi Pledge dance, which was extended by pretty much the most precious guy you'll ever meet. I think I even got a few butterflies. :)

best Day EVER!

Today is 10/10/10, and I have a feeling it might be pretty epic.

But I'm a little nervous to see if this epicness is good or bad.

Just another ride on the rollercoaster...

Unconditional something or other...

I'm blown away at the fact that no matter how many times I screw up, or make a fool of myself, I still have friends. You'd think by now, I'd be a total loner. For some odd reason, people still continue to like me. (Either that or they're just really good at faking it.)

I'm a little confused as to what makes my friends this way. What's it called? Unconditional love? Yea, that's it. Christ works their hearts in the most amazing ways... All I ask is that he works my heart the same way.

Speaking of Christ...
I made a puzzle piece bracelet at Resonate last week, and I'm supposed to wear it until I know where I "fit in" in God's big plan. I have a feeling I'm going to be wearing that bracelet for a long time...

*Insert Inspiration Here*

As my dad always says, "Nobody out West knows how to show up on time. They're always late for everything." This explains why I haven't blogged in so long...

College is no walk in the park.

But it is a life changing experience...

I can honestly say there are 2 things that have grown during my time as a Vandal.

1. Friend Count: So. Many. People. Amazing people. Who knew they would all change my life? Simply from the girls in my hall, to the people at Resonate. I'm almost at a loss for words. It's like I've been adopted. Except for all the messy paperwork.
-(Not only has my real life friend count grown, but my friend list on Facebook
has gotten quite larger as well. Which leads me to number 2...)

2. Amount of time spent on Facebook: I never would've guessed that I, of all people, would become a Facebook addict. But alas, it's happened. I'm actually really good at finding my way online when I'm supposed to be doing homework. Like now for example. No wonder I fail chemistry tests... Damn social networks. It really makes me wonder, should I be devoting my time to something more meaningful?

The obvious answer is yes. But this is one of those things where my heart and my head don't totally agree. It shouldn't even be that hard of a decision. But it is. Faith wise, I'm a complete mess right now. I can smile on the outside, but that doesn't mean everything on the inside is ok. I'm struggling to find exactly what I believe. Because I've been thrown in some situations where it feels like the right thing to do is curl up in a ball and cry, when I should be turning to God instead. Today for example was a day I told myself, "Jesus did not have today covered." I'm having a hard time believing that he's rooting for me, because all I'm doing is striking out.

But I'm trying. Trying to live a life like Jesus. I think.

Love always,
Suzza